Divorce and Re-Marriage!_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The people of a marriage are more important than the marriage itself. If there is a choice of saving the partners or the marriage the marriage must go. Satan doesn’t want two people who are suppose to be married to be together and wants to keep them separately in a marriage that Elohim never ordained. Two people who are ordained to be married and serve Elohim together is such a threat to Satan. Two people agreeing together can pull down his work in people’s lives!
Jesus provides two basic situations for legitimate divorce: first, for the situation of a believer who is married to an unbeliever (due to one being born again after they were married) who seeks to prevent the believer from following Jesus (Luke 14:26). Second, in the case of a false basis of entering into a marriage covenant (Matt. 5:32).Jesus said in Matt 5:32 that whoever puts away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, caused her to commit adultery…… Jesus did not use the word “moicheia” for fornication which means adultery. He used the word “porneia” which is defined as harlotry (including adultery and incest) and figurative idolatry. Using this word Jesus is saying that marriage does not destroy every human right that a person has been given by God just because they have gotten married. The term figurative idolatry means that no Christian must remain within a marriage to a murderer, thief, liar, slanderer, abusive, hostile, violent spouse(or any other behavior that is criminal or immoral) merely because that person has not committed any sexual sins against him/her. What is defined here in connection to the term “idolatry” is that… immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed…All of this behavior Jesus defined as “idolatry.” Colossians 3:5 from the new Covenant scriptures says “therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which is “idolatry.” If a married man/woman consistently acts within an immoral framework within the marriage, - that is behavior that expresses “idolatry.” It is a betrayal (unfaithfulness) to the morality of the God of the bible and Jesus is saying that it is “just cause” basis for divorce. The God given expectation of moral living within all “relationships” (business, social or personal) come along with being married and cannot be morally taken away within marriage by either spouse. Again, Jesus refused to define the value(s) of marriage exclusive to sexual faithfulness. Every spouse has a right to an expectation that his/her spouse will live out their lives within the morals of the God of the bible within the framework of a peaceful, loving relationship. There is a curse that comes on a marriage because of a continual disobedience to God.
Staying in a marriage for the wrong reasons: 1 Cor. 7:16- “for how do you know wife, whether you can save your husband.” Only God can save their spouse. A person can’t accept a bad marriage as their “lot” in life. A spouse may be trying to hinder a walk in holiness. One can’t submit to someone who practices ungodliness. If one is saved and the other partner doesn’t want to follow Jesus, than the marriage will produce constant strife. He wants the marriage partners to live in peace. Abuse by one partner is an example of a spouse preventing the other from living a fruitful life for Jesus;
Jesus was not against divorce (only for a just cause) but was against a husband separating without given the wife a certificate of divorce so she could remarry (Matt. 5:31, Deut 24:1). In v. 2 of Deut 24, the word says that the woman after obtaining a certificate of divorce could marry another.
God commanded the people in Ezra’s time that had married pagan wives to divorce from them and separate from the children (Ezra 10:1-12). God was saying to them to get out of wrong marriages. God has not joined together couples in certain marriages.
A divorce from a bad marriage is God’s love to you-He is for remarriage and wants them to have a good marriage.
Forbidding to get married after divorce is wrong- 1 Tim 4 v. 1, 3.
1 Cor. 7: 39 – The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth (that is if she has one, but a divorced woman doesn’t have a husband); but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. When a person is divorced they don’t have a husband/wife. They are not bound to someone. This scripture is for someone who is still married and wants to marry someone else. If you are divorced you can get married because you don’t have a spouse.
1 Cor. 7:27, 28 – “are you bound to a wife, don’t seek to be loosed. Are you loosed (divorced) from a wife, don’t seek a wife. But if you marry you haven’t sinned.” A person who is loosed from a wife is not married any more. So, they can get married after divorce. In God’s eyes once a marriage is legitimately dissolved than that marriage is considered null in God’s eyes.
In both these scriptures the terms “remarry or remarriage” is never mentioned.
We have to go back to what God said in Genesis 2:18- “It is good for man not to be alone.” The enemy is trying to prevent two strong believers from getting together and touching and agreeing on spiritual matters by trying to use religion to teach that persons cannot be remarried after a divorce. So, if someone marries the wrong person and is divorced it is to God’s advantage and Satan’s disadvantage for two ordained and strong believers to get married even after a wrong marriage that is dissolved for unfaithfulness to God’s moral law.
In Jeremiah the eighth chapter, Jeremiah mourns over the inhabitants of Jerusalem. The Lord gave them a warning through the prophet in verses 4-22. In verse 5, it says that they were “...in a perpetual backsliding [condition]” and in verse 9 that “...they have rejected the Word of the Lord.” Our wrong motives and attitudes will always reject “the Word of the Lord.”
Because their motives and attitudes toward God and people were so bad, God said in verse 10, “Therefore I WILL GIVE THEIR WIVES TO OTHERS, AND THEIR FIELDS TO THOSE WHO WILL INHERIT THEM.” Notice God’s attitude concerning the marriage. The marriage itself was not first priority, but second. God did not save the marriage, but broke it up because of their continual disobedience. There is a curse that actually comes upon the marriage relationship because of continual disobedience to God (See Deuteronomy 28:30).
For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce [shalach], [separating without a Certificate of Divorce].... He has [illegally] married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off ...the man who does this being awake and aware” (Malachi 2:11,12a,14b,c,16a).
Because these men had remarried illegally ― separated from their wives without giving them a Certificate of Divorce, they were in adultery as Jesus stated: “Furthermore it has been said, “Whoever PUTS AWAY [separates from {apoluo}] his wife, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE. But I say to you that whoever PUTS AWAY [separates and remarries without being divorced from] his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery: and whoever marries a woman who is PUT AWAY [separated without being divorced {apoluo}] commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32).
The Old Testament Hebrew word shalach and the New Testament Greek word apoluo are equivalent which will be discussed later.
Because these disobedient men still had “un-divorced” wives, the Lord did not command them to give their illegal wives a Certificate of Divorce, rather, they simply had to “separate, put them away, [shalach].” SO DID GOD HATE DIVORCE? NO! RATHER, GOD HATED THAT THE HUSBANDS WERE SEPARATING FROM THEIR WIVES WITHOUT GIVING THEM A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE WHICH WOULD ENABLE THEM TO GET REMARRIED. THIS IS WHAT GOD HATES!
The men of Israel were SEPARATING from their wives for self-gratifying reasons. God Himself was a “witness” at their original marriage ceremony which was still in effect. The marriage covenant was never dissolved by a Certificate of Divorce. The men remarried outside their own culture (race) and tribe. God considered the children they bore unholy because of the mixed marriages bringing curses into their families (See Ezra 9:1, 2, Nehemiah 13:26-30).
Because of these unauthorized marriages, the Word of God came to Ezra and Nehemiah to have the men and women of Israel who had done this thing, to separate from their spouse and even from their children (See Ezra 9:1, 11-12, 10:3, Nehemiah 13:23-27). In this situation, God’s command was to “put them away, separate yourselves from them!” This was NOT the kind of marriage to which God was saying, “I hate divorce!” He was saying loudly, “Get out of these wrong marriages
DIVORCE IS a METHOD TO SEPARATE THE ONE, AND MAKE THEM INTO TWO just as a surgeon’s knife is used to separate the cancerous flesh from the healthy flesh.
Divorce and Remarriage
“Now the Spirit [of God] expressly says that in latter times [the days we live in now] some will DEPART FROM THE FAITH, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies ...FORBIDDING TO MARRY…” (1Timothy 4:1, 3).
“Forbidding [someone] to marry” after they have been divorced is a doctrine of the devil. The Bible is not saying that these people who hold to this belief are not true Christians, but that they teach out of ignorance — they don't understand God's heart in the Scriptures. Understanding God's heart only comes from the Holy Spirit revealing Him to us. Whenever we do not understand God's heart in the Scriptures, we have departed from sound doctrine.
This Scripture could not be talking about forbidding to marry in general. Nobody would listen to such nonsense preached. The desire that God put in man to have a companion and sexual partner is too great, especially if they were married before. In order that we don’t fall into “...sexual immorality, let EACH MAN have his own wife, and let EACH WOMAN have her own husband” (1Corinthians 7:2). “[For] IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE…” (Genesis 2:18a).
The erroneous doctrine of forbidding one to marry after a divorce has been preached and taught in many churches. It has violated the conscience and hearts of those who’ve been divorced, driving them into a constant state of confusion and negatively impacting their lives. The only way for these people to come out of that confused state is to leave the church, and many have done just that. Not only do they leave the church to remarry, they also need to be able to make the right decision to divorce when it’s necessary in order to save themselves and their families before all is destroyed.
In order to understand that there IS marriage after divorce, we will examine the Scriptures in Matthew 19:3-12 focusing on the usage of the Greek word, apoluo. The Greek word apoluo that’s translated “divorce” or “to put away” is a general word. Its primary usage is: to “send” (apoluo) someone home when it’s getting late.11.When two people are leaving each other there is a “separation.” Apoluo is a separation in general, which does not involve the “legal” aspect of a permanent separation like a divorce. The common usage is seen in the Scripture “When it was evening, His disciples came to Him, saying ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late. SEND (apoluo) the multitudes away, that they may go unto the villages and buy themselves food’” (Matthew 14:15). The Greek word apoluo doesn’t have a legal aspect to it. It’s just a common word that means, “I’m going to go” or, “away from, to separate.” Because of our wrong beliefs about divorce, this key word was purposely translated (incorrectly) so it would not conflict with our beliefs.
When used concerning a marriage it means a separation and NOT a divorce. If a spouse separates intending never to return, then the next step comes into play; the spouse obtains a “certificate of divorce.” This is what the confrontation between Jesus and the Pharisees (the religious lawyers of His day) was about in Matthew 19:3-12. The legal question was, “Do you just separate, OR do you separate AND give a certificate of divorce?” The Greek word used for divorce in these Scriptures means, to “send away” or separate from, NOT a finalized legal divorce.
The lawyers of God’s law tested Jesus. Their motive was to justify when they only separated from their wives and remarried without ever getting a divorce. They asked Him if God accepts a separation to get remarried without a divorce certificate for just any reason. Jesus responded that when a male and female come together in a marriage union, “...they are no longer two BUT ONE…” (Matthew 19:6a). Because the couple is still united, He doesn’t want “man” (the marriage partners) to just separate from each other and get remarried without a divorce. A SEPARATION ALONE DOES NOT BREAK THE MARRIAGE UNION. IT TAKES A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, ALSO. So the question was NOT, “Can a spouse DIVORCE their mate for any reason,” but “Can a spouse get a SEPARATION from their mate for any reason and then remarry while just separated.”
When a husband just leaves his wife for another woman without ever giving her a certificate of divorce, this keeps the wife in limbo. She could not go back to her husband because he doesn’t want her; and she couldn’t “go and become another man’s wife” as Moses commanded because she is not legally divorced (See Deuteronomy 24:1-2). If she did remarry without a legal divorce, she and the man who married her would be committing adultery. This is why Jesus said, “...whoever separates (apoluo) from his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is [just] separated (apoluo) commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 My Translation).
Because the Pharisees’ hearts were so hard “They said to Him [Jesus], ‘WHY then did Moses COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce AND to put her away [separate]?’” (Matthew 19:7). They agreed with the part of the law that said that you could leave your wife, but they didn’t understand that it was not right to keep their wives from getting remarried. A spouse with a hardened heart will not give the other spouse a divorce. They will want to control the person. A person who truly loves unconditionally will always give you a way out: an option not to love.
So it is with God; He always gives us the choice to not love Him. As we choose to love Him, it’s true love. At times the reason a marriage isn’t a truly unconditional loving marriage is because the partners feel that there is never a way out, if needed. If the marriage partners knew that there was a godly way to escape from a failing marriage it would give the couple the freedom to “choose to love,” even when it’s not convenient.
Jesus said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, PERMITTED you to divorce [separate from] your wives, but from the beginning IT [being separated without a divorce] WAS NOT SO” (Matthew 19:8). Notice in verse seven that Moses COMMANDED them to give a certificate of divorce AND to separate (put away) their wives. But in verse eight, because their hearts were so hardened against their spouse, Moses PERMITTED them to just separate without the husband giving the wife a certificate of divorce. The reason Moses commanded that a certificate of divorce be given was to guarantee that the wife could get remarried. Simply, Moses commanded to give a certificate of divorce AND to separate. But because of the hardness of their hearts, Moses permitted them to separate only. The permission to separate and remarry without a divorce was limited to sexual immorality. If the wife was unfaithful, the husband could leave without ever being “officially divorced” — by giving her a certificate of divorcement, and go take another woman as his wife. But if there was no sexual immorality involved, the husband could NOT separate from his wife without getting a divorce first. If he didn’t get a divorce and went to live with another woman or got remarried, they were committing adultery.
“Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed [for selfish reasons]. Are you loosed [divorced] from a wife? [In my opinion says Paul, the Apostle] do not seek a wife. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO MARRY, YOU HAVE NOT SINNED; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned” (1Corinthians 7:26-28a). Notice that the “virgin” AND the person “loosed [divorced]” are both put in the same category — they have “not sinned” by getting married. BOTH THE PERSON WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED AND THE PERSON WHO WAS DIVORCED ARE WITHOUT SIN IF THEY MARRY.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 tells of a situation where a man married a woman and then divorced her. This woman then married another man. The Scriptures go on to state that if the second marriage ends by her husband writing “...her a certificate of divorce ...OR if the latter husband dies…” (Deuteronomy 24:3, 4), she could not remarry the first man she divorced because she had already married someone else. Therefore, if our spouse dies, or if we were divorced, we can get married again. Divorce and death are equal before God. The only stipulation in this Scripture is that if this is the second marriage, we cannot go back to the first spouse and remarry them because we married someone else after we divorced them.
Be diligent [exceedingly careful] to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15
Christians are not to place unjust burdens on anyone by denying the very words of Christ and His apostles.
Jesus expressed His distain for such arrogant people in His day, this way:
"And they tie up heavy loads, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger." Matthew 23:4
Please don’t anybody put a yoke on you to hold you back from doing Elohim’s will and having the right partner to help you do so! Please give this message to others who are bound by false teaching on the subject of “Divorce and Remarriage.”